There was a time that I was an atheist. I had been told that we were all God's children and that God was perfect Love, but if we weren't good enough, we would burn in hell for all eternity. I could not accept such a god as that. I could not condemn one of my children to such punishment, and that meant that my love was greater than that god's. So why should I worship a being that at least in one area was lessor that I? I had already come to realize that there was a God, but was still unhappy about that burning in hell bit. Then one day, I was with a group of people being talked to by a man named Carl Showalter who was a minister in the Church of the Brethren, and he asked the group, "Do you believe that God forgives your sins?" Naturally everyone agreed that He did. Well, this man just shook his head and said, "No, He does not. God loves you so much that he never held anything against you to have to forgive." I had finally been told about a God that I could be happy with. So who needs forgiveness? We all do. Does that contradict what I just said up above? Not at all. We don't need God's forgiveness, He is not angry with us. Rather, we need our own forgiveness. Throughout our lives we do things that we later wish that we had not done, and at least on a subconscious level, we are angry with ourselves. Sometimes it is on a conscious level. We feel guilty and full of fear about what some future consequences may be. We feel unworthy. If we can forgive ourselves of our transgressions, we will have removed a major stumbling block in our future spiritual growth.
Another time a group of us were talking to a Catholic priest and the subject of confession came up. Finally the priest agreed that the majority of the benefit of confession was psychological. At this point, one of the women in the group pointed at me and asked, "Do you mean that I could confess to him and it would do as much good as if I were to confess to you?" The priest smiled and said, "With the understanding that you people have, I would say yes."
So it would be a very good idea if we were to start thinking about everything that we have ever done that we feel guilt over. And then consciously forgiving ourselves for whatever it was. But there will be some things that we have blocked away from our memories, or simply do not remember. So in this case, what we can do is forgive ourselves for any past transgressions that we do not remember. When we no longer have guilt eating away at us we can be free to advance more rapidly on our spiritual path. I forgive you, will you forgive you?.
Joyce Chandler
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