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Joyce Chandler

What is Love and is Unconditional Love Possible?

No other topic, has been as written about, talked about as much as the subject of love. Songs profess it, poet's have immortalized it, and movies have portrayed it in countless ways. Yet, even though we think we know what true and honest love it, it is the most misunderstood and overly used term in society today.

Many people go through life with the attitude, "I will love you if you will love me in return." Or the attitude, "I will love you if you will do this or that for me," or If you will buy me this, I will love you forever, again conditions. Love is not a commodity to be brought and sold.

A person must learn to love without conditions or expectations, the proper attitude must be, "I will love you even if you hate me." We may not like or respect someone, but we must realize that they are children of the Creator, just as we are, that like us, their real self is divine. Each of us carries the spark and breath of the Creator within us and therefore they are worthy of being loved.

There are no buts, no if's when it comes to expressing love for others, Love is like a gift you purchase for someone, it is suppose to come from your heart, without wondering just what you might get out of it or in return. It is so easy to see why so many people have so much trouble in areas of love, when they don't have a good understanding of just what love is and what it isn't. In today's society, we throw around the terms of Love without a lot of thought to it's meaning or as casual as ordering a hamburger at McDonalds. It is no wonder that people are confused, and younger children have no idea as to the difference between true love and just liking, creating turmoil in families and relationships.

To understand what love is and what unconditional love is, let's look at what it is define as in Merriam-Webster"s dictionary, there was listed a total of 24 definitions as to what love is. I will not cover all these but a few, which again shows, that we have so many definitions as to just what love is.

According to Merriam-Webster love is: 1 a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates> b : an assurance of love <give her my love> 2 : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion <love of the sea> 3 a : the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration <baseball was his first love> b (1) : a beloved person : DARLING -- often used as a term of endearment (2) British -- used as an informal term of address 4 a : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) : brotherly concern for others b : a person's adoration of God 5 : a god or personification of love

If you look at those definitions you will find that love covers a multitude of meanings and feelings.

If you look to Merriam-Websters definition of uncondition it is defined as: 1 : not conditional or limited : ABSOLUTE, UNQUALIFIED <unconditional surrender>

Putting these to words together, then Unconditional Love, would mean absolute unselfish care and concern for another.

Using this as a focal point in our examination of Unconditional Love. It would mean, that this type of love is without expectations, it is given freely, completely without thought of what is gained or lost either personally or physically.

Some may disagree with me, but I believe our purpose here is to learn amongst other things, pure unconditional love.

Unconditional love is important enough to be among the 20 Primary Universal Laws which states:

The Law of Unconditional Love. The expression of unconditional love will eventually result in harmony. Unconditional love is not romantic love. It is the acceptance of others as they are without judgment or expectations. It is total acceptance of others without attempting to change them, except by our own positive example. The law of unconditional love says, "If you go out of your way to express unconditional love, you automatically rise above fear, and, as you transcend your fears, you automatically open to the expression of unconditional love.

How does one begin to incorporate unconditional love into their lives? The first and most important step in developing unconditional love, for others, is to love yourself as you are, accepting and affirming that you are worthly of love, and living it. Once you have mastered loving yourself, and embracing your faults you will find it second nature to do that in dealing with others. When you learn to put aside, what you think, based on fears and prejudices, then you begin to look at the world and others in a different light.

Love should never be based upon your own beliefs of what life is or should be, Love is based on basic principles that we bound together here on this planet, and that each person is deserving of our love and care.

Unconditional love is looking at people who bring out the negative aspects of your own character, and changing that into positive.

It is looking within finding those positive traits that exist in all of us, some harder to find than others, and embracing the person. I am not saying that you allow people to trample over you, you can love a person, but dislike what they do. But you must accept them with love.

I am not talking about the love between man and wife, mother and child. The love that exist between family members and friends, that love is easy, and mastering an unconditional love only in that circumstances, is not mastering unconditional love at all.

Daily, people show ultimate acts of unconditional love, it is not always laying down your life physically, but in giving of your self, in heroic measures. Supreme Acts on Love are acts done, without thought of ones own self. History is full of countless stories, of people who in times of great turmoil have given their own lives that others might live. It is a second that one must look at a situation, and realize that they can make a difference in another's life, and not look at what that decision would cost.

Children, animals, all show true and pure unconditional love. They do not look at the world with calloused eyes or hearts, but with a trusting and loving spirit. It is a shame that as we grow in this world, we tend to become calloused to life and those around us. We become skeptical, judgemental, and tend to look at others, as we would like them to be, not as they are. People aren't always what they seem to be, often they are quite different, they too being calloused by years of their own life stories.

In giving and being a vessel of love in the world (without thought of what is in it for me), pure and unconditional acceptance of ones own self, and those around you, shinning what light one can on a daily basis, in the best of times, and the worse, you are showing love. To care, to share, and to give that hand of friendship and concern are the foundations of spreading love. There will be times, that you will be rejected, times when you will be readily received. Either way, you will by your actions of love for humanity and the universe, will evolve to a higher plane of consciousness.

Pure unconditional love, is a blinding and forceful light. It can lead one out of darkness, refresh your spirit, and can be a beacon of hope to another, thus bringing them out of the darkness and in to the light by your unconditional love. So Shine, be a light of Love to the world, and make them wonder what you got....Love is an attracting force for good.

Joyce Chandler, January, 2007

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