Do we really need Love? In order to understand this, we must also understand just what love is and what isn't love. Lets assume that you meet someone who you find is really attractive. Just looking at or thinking about that person makes you feel all giddy and ga‑ga. So you assume that you are in love with this other person. Well, you may be, but that is not really Love, it is more probably lust. Or you may feel an attraction to someone and decide that you will love them if they will love you in return. Again, that is not really Love. Why do I say this? Real Love is unconditional. It places no conditions on itself. And it has to start with self Love. Now I know that many will jump on that last statement, but before you get all fired up about it, let me explain. We have all heard things like, "He loves himself too much," and other such comments. That is not really self love, rather is an over puffed ego. Real Self Love is quiet and unassuming. It does not feel the need to brag or boast. And it is often rather hard to accomplish, but once it has been accomplished, it is worth the effort. What makes it so hard to accomplish is that we often have things in our makeup that we don't like. And those things we may not even be consciously aware of. But there are some things that can give us a tip about them. If someone else's actions cause us to become angry (I am not talking about brutal acts that really harm someone else) then there is an excellent chance that their actions have reminded you of something in yourself that you don't like. It may not be an identical quirk in yourself, but will be close enough to remind you (subconsciously) of something within yourself that you don't like. So until you can get rid of all of these buttons and triggers within yourself, you cannot truly Love yourself. Getting rid of them is work, often hard and painful work, but the results are well worth the effort.
Many of us find it very difficult to accept love from others. We may crave it but be unable to accept it. We simply feel that we are unworthy of being loved. And that is a crock!
Once you have accomplished Real Self Love, then you will find it is very easy to have unconditional Love for all others. You may not like someone, but you can still feel Love for them.
Joyce Chandler
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